Free verse writing

Publish piece:

I wake up, 

I have awoken,

awoken in a cold cold bed.

Where am I? Mum, dad and my sister are all here.

I’m safe,

But the pain,

Pain so much of it.

I see lots of machines,

machines everywhere all around me.

I have the thing that I had in my mouth at the start. 

I get taken to another room with a bed right near the door,

I go next to the window,

a big window the sun is shining in.

the machines are back.

Evaluation:

1) I used the 5 senses, (feel,hear,see,taste,smell) I think I used all of them.

2)I used visual imagery  

3)I think next time I would put a bit more detail.